and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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