I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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