Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
