I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
