Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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