They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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