Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He did a backflip because drugs
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
