I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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