Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
