she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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