i can't believe i had my finger in that
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
