you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize