that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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