my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
