Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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