im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
