I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
