she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
