you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
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well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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