you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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