Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
