SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
