have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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