You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
