Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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