Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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