is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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