I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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