I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Two words: blizzard sex
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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