We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
