I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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