is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
