I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
