I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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