You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
