i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
