About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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