wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
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I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize