I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
