So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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