How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
