those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
