I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
