you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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