we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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