I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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