$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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