Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
