Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
