you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
