Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
