Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
