Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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