So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
