oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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