forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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