Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Will you blow on my dice?

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(804): View more from Virginia

I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five

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(905): View more from Ontario

the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster

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(803): View more from South Carolina

there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.

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(813): View more from Florida

Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism

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(518): View more from New York

A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??

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(469): View more from Texas

Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka

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