Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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