i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Randomize
