it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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