Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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