Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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