is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
