If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
