I wanna bring you to show and tell
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize