it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
