Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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