And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
