What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
